Guide Project Book Picks

I adore a good book. Naturally, they’re one of my favorite gifts to give. If you have someone like that on your list this year, I’ve put together a few quick book ideas.

What’s in this list: These books are written by parents of children with disabilities. They speak to the challenges - and the beauty - that we find in our world.

Who these books are for: Everyone. Truly. While parents or loved ones of someone with a disability will connect deeply with these stories, we need everyone to hear them. Because that inclusive world we’re always talking about? It starts with everyone seeing the value of people with disabilities and understanding their experiences. The more we share these stories, the closer we get to where we want to be.

Where to get them: You can grab most of these titles from [words] Bookstore, which hires young people with autism as a part of its vocational training program. I’ve included links to make it easy! (You can also get them at your favorite local bookstore!)

(And if you’re not looking for books - or you need other gift ideas - check out our 2024 Holiday Gift Guide, featuring neurodiverse businesses we love!)

  1. FOREVER BOY - A MOTHER’S MEMOIR OF AUTISM AND FINDING JOY by Kate Swenson

    Hands-down, this is a FAVORITE. I loved this book so much that I bought several copies and filled them with post-its, marking my favorite parts to share with close friends. It feels like sharing something far deeper than just a book—it’s a piece of my heart I’m passing on. It’s that good.

    The magic of this book (and it is magical) is this: the author, Kate Swenson, artfully tells the beautiful story of her son, who has severe, nonverbal autism. While his diagnosis is central to the story and an important part of their lives, she writes about it in a way that allows anyone, regardless of their child’s diagnosis, to deeply connect to the love, struggles, and joy she so beautifully captures. Highly recommend!

  2. WHAT MATTERS - REFLECTIONS ON DISABILITY, COMMUNITY, AND LOVE by Janice Fialka

    “Gradually, though, Micah has taught us to understand disability not as a misfortune but as a natural part of the human condition. Not as a flaw to be fixed but rather as a call to respect, celebrate, and support differences.” Those are two lines - of many - that got me in this book.

    I read this early on in our Guide Project years, after our very first event - a screening of Intelligent Lives (if I ever do movie recommendations, that’ll be top of the list). Janice Fialka, the author, is the mother of Micah Fialka-Feldman, who is featured in the documentary. This book has advice for families, educators, you name it. And it. is. beautiful.

  3. DIFFERENTLY WIRED. RAISING AN EXCEPTIONAL CHILD IN A CONVENTIONAL WORLD by Deborah Reber

    I read this book a few years ago, and what really stuck with me about it was author Debora Reber’s brilliant concept of “tilts”, or paradigm-shifting ideas, like “Stop fighting who your child is and lean in” to “Parent from a place of possibility instead of fear” (which I think is a big one for a lot of parents; I know it was for me).

    Her final tilt in the book is “If it doesn’t exist, create it” - and this is another one I read around the time we started The Guide Project. So it felt very validating. Definitely a book to get you thinking and one to check out!

  4. A MEASURE OF INTELLIGENCE - ONE MOTHER’S RECKONING WITH THE IQ TEST by Pepper Stetler

    OK, so I haven’t actually read this one yet. Which seems weird to recommend, but I promise I have a very good feeling about it. Partly based on the description and partly based on a podcast I listened to that featured an interview with author Pepper Stetler, who is mom to a young woman with Down Syndrome.

    In this book, she goes on a journey: exploring the origins and impact of the IQ test on today’s education system, challenging the way we define and measure intelligence, and ultimately making a compelling case for rethinking how we assess an individual’s true potential. Definitely recommend - and want to read!

What books would you add to the list? I’d love to know! Share with me at stacey@guideeachother.org.

Guide Project-Tested Gifts

One of our favorite things to do each year is to pull together our Holiday Gift Guide, which highlights businesses committed to promoting a neurodiverse workforce. But a close second to that is purchasing from these businesses. You could call it retail therapy; I call it research. Because what kind of gift guide would it be if we didn’t try out at least SOME of the products?

In all seriousness, these are truly great products. They’re not products to buy out of obligation or as a favor to the disability community. They’re, on their own, awesome. And the fact that they offer proof of the value of a neurodiverse workforce? Well, that makes them even better.

So, here’s what we’ve tried so far …

Popcorn for the People - We bought these as teacher gifts last year, and they’re one of my favorite things we’ve done. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure my last-minute Dunkin’ gift cards of the past were appreciated, but these felt more meaningful. And they were easy - just wrapped them with a ribbon and a gift tag from Grace Place Art.

Texas Sweet Heat Jam Co. - Ahh, these were so delicious. Holiday Heat was great (and a hit at our holiday party!), and I especially loved the carrot cake jam. Definitely getting some more this year.

Purely Patrick - Our son is super into learning his way around the kitchen. He’s also super into cookies. So, making Purely Patrick’s creamsicle cookies was a win/win. In his words, “they’re bussin’”.

Shemesh Farms - We got several spices from here. I use the salt and roses I got there last year on my avocado toast, and it’s sooo good. I also got their cookbook, which I’ve been pulling out when I want to try something new.

Savor by Suzie - Four words: roasted garlic and herb. Seriously. Try these. Take our word for it, they’re incredible.

Bitty & Beau’s Coffee - I love my “radically inclusive” trucker hat. (And I get compliments every time I wear it! It’s a great conversation starter.)

Cam’s Coffee Co. - We picked up a few teas, which were so good (and so fragrant). I also got some of the coffee body scrub, which was a perfect morning pick me up and made my skin so smooth.

Haerfest Coffee - Here’s another item we used for teacher gifts. What I really like is that every bag is designed with gorgeous artwork and information about the artist. So, it feels like you’re gifting a lot more than a bag of coffee.

t21 Coffee - I’d love to say these coffees were gifts (because they’d make a great gift!), but I tried their coffee myself. It was great. I also served it to a guest, and it got rave reviews.

Inspired Threads - I like to think of myself as a blanket connoisseur. Throws, blankets, you name it, I love it. And the blanket I got here is on a whole other level. Seriously. It’s gorgeous, it’s soft, it’s snuggly. It’s so great my husband got one for himself (I wasn’t sharing haha).

Be Kind to Everyone - Besides the fundamentally good message, these shirts are SOFT. We both own shirts from here, and they get worn A LOT.

John’s Crazy Socks - Because they have so many socks to choose from, we found these to be a great way to give a fun, personal gift to friends and co-workers.

The Spotlight Project - I was fortunate enough to receive some of these bracelets for Mothers’ Day one year, and I love them. They’re a perfect add to the jewelry I already wear, and they mean so much to me.

Vichy’s Art - I loved so much of the art here, and I’m horrible with decisions. I got the desk calendar so I’d never have to pick just one. I love seeing it on my desk every day; it just brightens everything up.

Grace Place Art - I love her art!! Last year, we bought gift tags to add to all of our gifts. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out they were also offering wrapping paper. I picked that up fast!

Jack’s Cheesecake - Jack is pretty popular around here. And there’s a reason why - his cheesecake is GOOD. It’s so good, I picked up a variety of their minis to add to our Thanksgiving dessert table last year, and they were a hit.

Love.Craft.Athens - It’s become a tradition for us to get something when they appear at AthFest every year. The first year, we got a cool magnet, and last year, I got some funky kitchen towels. One of a kind - AND they mean something.

If you’re looking for other businesses that support a neurodiverse workforce that YOU can support. check out our full Holiday Gift Guide, which features over 90 businesses.

Our Favorite Collabs (And What They Say About Inclusion)

Collaboration. Or “collabs,” as the kids call them (according to my 11 year old). They’re a really popular strategy for many businesses. And as I conducted research for Inclusion Unwrapped: The 2023 Holiday Gift Guide, I found that businesses committed to a neurodiverse workforce were no exception.

Some of our favorite collabs this year included:

And these collaborations - often between businesses focused on neurodiversity and businesses that aren’t - struck me as really powerful. Sound business decisions, sure. But to me, they’re more; they speak to the true value of inclusion (that thing we’re always talking about!).

But to understand that, I think it’s important to first understand exactly why collaborations work. And we know they do, right? Many of today’s most successful brands are doing them. Like sneaker brands, video games, musicians. And there’s a reason for that. Brands recognize that when they collaborate, they can increase their own value.

Take the song Old Town Road, for example. A few years ago, this song, the result of a collaboration between Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus, was a massive hit and really, a cultural phenomenon. It topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart for 19 consecutive weeks, making it the longest-running number-one song in the chart's history at that time. (And was played at every school event I went to that year. Literally. Every. Single. One.)

And its success was about a lot more than just its catchy tune. The song combined elements of hip-hop (courtesy of Lil Nas X) and country (courtesy of Billy Ray). That created a really cool, unique sound that people loved. And it gave the song the ability to cross genres (in other words, expand its reach). And thus, a hit was born. For both artists.

So, what does all of this have to do with inclusion? (And more importantly, why have I spent so much of this blog post devoted to Miley’s dad?) Well, neither Lil Nas X nor Billy Ray partnered with the other out of pity or obligation. They were both established artists on their own, with their own style, their own songs, and their own followings. Neither NEEDED the other. But they both recognized that by joining together, they could create something bigger, better, and different than what they could do on their own. They both saw the VALUE in one another.

And that’s why I find so much hope in the collaborations I’m seeing between businesses focused on a neurodiverse workforce and those that aren’t. Because it means that both businesses are seeing the inherent value in one another. And in doing so, a powerful message about inclusion emerges: businesses with a neurodiverse workforce have their own strengths. Strengths that others recognize, appreciate, and actively seek to incorporate.  

And isn’t that what we’ve been saying about inclusion all along? It doesn’t just benefit people with disabilities – it benefits everyone. And collabs are proof that this is true.

They Say He Has a Disability

They say he has a disability.

It’s a Friday night. The end of a week full of school and quizzes and tests and class work and speech therapy and other Things That Are Hard. After all of it, he is here, Friday night, working on math with his tutor. When his friends left school, their weekends began; they headed for their homes, their couches, their parks, their playgrounds. Nintendos and tablets powered up to play games of Minecraft and Roblox. He headed here. His school computer powered up to do work. More of it.

And yet. He has not complained once.

We walk in, he greets his tutor with a smile and a laugh, and he gets to work. “Bye, Mom. Go sit somewhere else.” I do.

But I watch. I watch as he pulls himself close to the table. As he hunches over his paper. Focused on his work. Trying. Always trying.

They say he has a disability. But that prefix. Dis. Lack of. It gets me. Because if you’re talking about test scores, academics - maybe the prefix works. But this? The attitude, the perseverance? The prefix doesn’t seem fitting. Not for him. Not for many kids like him. Not for what I see.

His teacher called me this week. “He’s always so happy and upbeat. Is he ever in a bad mood?” I tell her it happens, but it never lasts long. It’s true. She’s surprised; she can’t picture it. She, his teacher, whose experience with him is ONLY in an environment where he struggles the most, cannot imagine him being anything but positive.

I don’t say all this to brag on my kid. Except that maybe I do. After all, I am a proud mom.

And I don’t say this to deny that he has a disability. He does. There’s nothing shameful about it. The prefix, dis, may mean lack of, but it doesn’t mean less than. I know that first-hand.

But the word disability also doesn’t mean lack of ALL ability. It’s an important distinction. Because if you see my boy as someone who lacks all ability, you might pity him. Of course, you might also accept him or even include him - but you’ll never really see him, his strengths, his value, who he is: Someone who faces challenge after challenge, head on, with optimism and determination. In a way - with an ability - that is unlike any child or adult I have ever known.

Because you see, they say he has a disability. But as his mom, I see so much more. And also as his mom, I’ll make sure the world does, too.

Note: Lest anyone think I’m an awful mom, he does not typically have tutoring on Friday nights. This week was a weird one because of schedules, but he took it in stride.

Don’t Miss the Small Stuff (And it’s all small stuff)

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by: Stacey Cheney

The other night, we were at a school event with our boys. As we left, a child we didn’t know called out to our older son, M. M ran over to him, and their conversation went something like this:

M: Hey.
Other child: Hey, M!
M: That was a good movie, huh?
Other child: Yeah, it was.
M: I’ve seen it before.
Other child: Yeah, me, too.

As the boys talked, I fell into step with my husband, behind them.

We both fell silent.

I knew exactly what my husband was doing. I was doing it, too. Listening. Intently. Hanging on every word.

At this point, I should explain that I understand most people would label this a fairly unremarkable conversation. In a Marie Kondo situation, it would, no doubt, land in the discard pile. That is to say, for most people, it’s not sparking any joy.

Unless, of course:

  • you’ve seen your child struggle to connect with their peers because their language disorder was a barrier and broke their confidence

  • you’ve watched your child finally build the confidence to talk to those peers, only to have them walk away mid-sentence, not having the patience that was sometimes required to understand your child

  • you’ve watched your child struggle to have appropriate, on-topic conversations because their brain was always running so fast that when they spoke, they did so mid-thought, resulting in conversations that seemed random and awkward

If those things were true? Watching your child connect with a peer in such an average way - even for 20 seconds - would be one of the highlights of your night. It would be something you’d praise your child for, and it would be something you and your husband would stay up that night talking about. And it would spark joy. Immense joy.

And that’s the thing about parenting kiddos with special needs. Is it hard? Abso-fricking-lutely. It’s fraught with stress and worry and missed milestones and then more stress and worry about those missed milestones. I’m not trying to sugarcoat things. But despite all that - or perhaps because of it - I find that sometimes I’m able to feel a little deeper when it comes to small moments like this.

Because it’s important to remember that there will always be small moments. They’re everywhere. Maybe it’s an unremarkable conversation, or perhaps a new word. Or maybe it’s just a word, period. Or a sound. It looks different for everyone, but it’s there - the capacity to find deep joy in seemingly insignificant moments.

And make no mistake - those small moments that happen in our special needs worlds? They happen in everyone else’s, too. I just like to think that maybe our kiddos have taught us to notice them a little bit more. And for that, I feel pretty lucky.

Stacey Cheney is the co-founder of The Guide Project Inc., an organization dedicated to finding and creating opportunities for inclusion for people with disabilities and their families. To learn more about their mission, visit www.guideeachother.org.